During the early Jurassic period, some 270 million years
ago, the continental split of Pangea opened the door to the modern world of
trade, industry, war, freedom and the separation of two world super powers.
In the early days before the split, the Earth flourished
with plant and animal life. Man and beast co-existed in peace and prosperity in
the great city of Dinotopia where dinosaurs were known for their gentle ways
and servitude toward mankind under the rule of Abraham Lincoln.
Before Abraham Lincoln, the world was full of turmoil and devastation.
Dinosaurs and mankind fought many battles for years and years, until Lincoln
turned seven years old and became the greatest human commander in all of
history. Lincolns most significant victory in the great capitol city of Dinotopia
united the whole planet, dinosaur and human alike, under his just iron fist.
As Abe’s closest companion, Vladimir Putin was given control
of a large section of land in Pangea known today as Russia. Putin was a young
man who was eager to please his beloved friend Abraham, but Abe was worried by
his companion’s lust for power and control over the staggering population of
Dinosaurs.
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| young Vlad the Dino Impaler with his first Dinosaur Head. |
During his time of service in Dinotopia’s military, Putin
quickly rose through the ranks and became the commander of the KGBB( Kapture Giant
Brontosaurus Brigade). As commander he quickly started committing atrocities
and executing scores of mankind’s dinosaur brethren. Approximately Four Score
of Dinosaurs and Seven years later, Lincoln caught wind of the terrible war
crimes that were being committed by Young Vlad. Shocked by Vladimir’s treason
and actions, Lincoln had no choice but to call him a dick and unite the leaders
of Pangea against Vladimir; Thus prompting the composition of The Declaration
of Independence.
The Declaration of Independence stated that Russia, under
the control of Vladimir Putin sucked huge balls and couldn’t be allowed to stay
with the rest of Pangea. The leaders of Pangea unanimously agreed that Russia’s
actions were directly violating the rules governing the rights of the Dinos.
The last article, declared the separation final and irreversible, and stated
Russia would be separated to the darkest and coldest section of the earth and
must remain under the rule of Vladimir, who is now to be called “Vladimir the
Dino Impaler” for all of eternity.
As Lincoln signed his name on the bottom in the blood of a
unicorn, a giant sword fell from the stars and sliced up Pangea, sending Russia
to it’s current location in the frozen version of hell.
